Nr.1 Joke : Old WoW joke, my personal favorite,
A warlock walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a glass of beer and starts relaxing, when all of a sudden, a paladin walks in and sits next to him. He turns to look at the warlock and says: 'Hey buddy, conjure me up something to drink,'
The warlock raises an eyebrow and looks to the paladin, clearly confused. He set his bottle down and spoke, slowly, and clearly, so as not to confuse the paladin.
'You want me to summon water? Buddy, you've got the wrong person...'
With that said, he returned to his drink. However, the paladin spoke up once again.
'Well if you can't conjure me up something to drink, can you at least conjure me up something to eat?'
The warlock sighed heavily and set his drink down, turning once again to face the paladin.
'If I can't conjure you something to drink, what makes you think I could conjure you something to eat? You clearly need a mage, now stop bothering me.'
The warlock returned to his drink, only to find the paladin nudging his shoulder.
'Oh I'm sorry,' the paladin said mockingly. 'I thought you had something to offer to someone other than yourself.'
The warlock smoothly rose from his seat, grabbed his bottle of beer, and swung it hard, smashing the paladin full in the face. The paladin collapsed on the floor amidst a shower of beer, blood, shards of glass, and shattered pride, groaning in pain. The warlock tossed the broken neck of the bottle on the floor, and smoothed his robes.
'Oh I'm sorry,' he said with a smile. 'I thought you could tank.'
Just before Wrath of the Lich King was released, God made a decision that he would gather up all the underpowered and useless classes and sort them out once and for all. So he invites Protection Warriors, Enhancement Shamans and Retribution Paladins to come and see him in Heaven.
Firstly God turns to the Protection Warrior and asks: "So, what would you like?"
The Warrior replies: "I'd like more utility and PvP, and a better means of generating threat and damage so I can compete with Paladin tanks."
God nods wisely and says: "So be it," and makes it so.
Next God turns to the Enhancement Shaman and asks again: "So, what would you like?"
The shaman replies: "I'd like some crowd control, and a way to make totems more effective, more pets wouldn't hurt either."
God nods wisely and says: "So be it," and makes it so.
Finally God turns to the Retribution Paladin and says: "So, what would you like?"
The Paladin looks at God and says: "I'd like you to get up please, because you're in my seat."
A human paladin, a night elf druid and an orc warrior die and go to the Spirit Healer. She tells them that, in order to resurrect them, they must tell why they deserve to resurrect, and if they lie she will blast them into oblivion.
The human says: "I think I should resurrect because I will spread the Light´s word and help everyone in need." Thus, the Spirt Healer resurrects him.
The night elf says: "I think I should resurrect because I will defend nature and try to restore balance to the world." Thus, the Spirit Healer resurrects him.
The orc says: "I think..." *ZAP!*
You know you play too much warcraft when the drop-rate of your girl friends pants is low.
If you refer to the british coins as gold, silver and copper you need help.
You know you play too much warcraft when you get hit in a fight outside the pub and blame it on lag.
What do Paladins and Chickens have in common?
They both go BoK BoK BoK!
How many Gnomes does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call 20 Gnomes at the bottom of Loch Modan?
A good start.
What do you call 20 Paladins in Loch Modan?
A Bubble Bath.
There is an army of humans at the bottom of a hill and an orc taunting them from above.
The human Grand Marhsal says : "An orc is worth 10 soldiers. You take 9 others and go take care of him"
The 10 soldiers chase the orc and disappear behind the hill. Some fighting is heard and again the orc is taunting the army.
The human Grand Marshal says : "An orc is worth 100 soldiers. Knight-Captain take your men and get rid of this eyesore"
The battalion rushes after the orc and disappears behind the hill. There is quite a fight behind the hill but once more the orc is taunting.
Out of rage the Grand Marshal shouts : " An orc is worth 1000 soldiers. Commander you and your regiment better trash this orc or there's is no need for you to come back."
As the masse of humans disappears behind the hill a huge and frantic battle can be heard. As it calms down a lone soldier comes back wounded and announces : "It was an ambush. They were.... two."
Q: What does Rogues and n00bs have in common?
A: They both pick locks
What do you call a moonwell full of restoration druids?
A HoTtub
How to Pull a Date
1) Position: Make sure she isn't too far away, or too close.
2) Is she hostile or neutral. Will she aggro you before you're ready to pull? If she may aggro, prepare accordingly at range or she may use Demoralizing Shout and oneshot you.
3) If safe to proceed, check for potential adds, female friends, and especially BFs have a massive add range.
4) NEVER LoS pull, disappearing into the toilets after aggro will cause her to likely despawn.
5) Don't used ranged to pull, it will cause her to despawn. Use proximity aggro if it is a safe and add-free pull.
6) If you have a rogue friend experienced in these matters get him to give you his Tricks of The Trade before going in.
7) Have a hunter friend misdirect any late adds, especially ugly female friends, away from your pull.
If all goes will, remember to ask your friendly Paladin for a Hand of Protection. If none are available, alchemists can make Elixir of Protection, but it's only 97.5% effective.
What do Palladins and dogs have in common?
You have to teach them how to heal when you take them out.
What do you call a troll walking around confused?
- Normal
What do you call a bunch of trolls walking around confused?
- A Patrol
Two orcs go for a job. First Orc goes in. Interviewer holds out his hand.
'Which hand is this, left or right?'
'Left' the orc replies
'OK You'll do. You've got the job'
Orc goes out and tells his buddy the question.
Second orc goes in and the interviewer is rubbing his hands together cos its cold.
'Hey that's not fair' says the Orc, 'You're shuffling them!'
Do you know why leveling a mage is more like being an Irish?
Because you will always be drinking and fighting then drinking and fighting!
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat down in Tanaris, she created Un-goro crater.
I'm a paladin short and stout
here's my hammer here's my mount
When in trouble I scream and shout
get my bubble and hearthstone out.
Your momma is so fat it makes Patchwreck look anorexic.
How do you know you play WoW too much?
When you run over a cat, and stop to check it for loot.
A warlock walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a glass of beer and starts relaxing, when all of a sudden, a paladin walks in and sits next to him. He turns to look at the warlock and says: 'Hey buddy, conjure me up something to drink,'
The warlock raises an eyebrow and looks to the paladin, clearly confused. He set his bottle down and spoke, slowly, and clearly, so as not to confuse the paladin.
'You want me to summon water? Buddy, you've got the wrong person...'
With that said, he returned to his drink. However, the paladin spoke up once again.
'Well if you can't conjure me up something to drink, can you at least conjure me up something to eat?'
The warlock sighed heavily and set his drink down, turning once again to face the paladin.
'If I can't conjure you something to drink, what makes you think I could conjure you something to eat? You clearly need a mage, now stop bothering me.'
The warlock returned to his drink, only to find the paladin nudging his shoulder.
'Oh I'm sorry,' the paladin said mockingly. 'I thought you had something to offer to someone other than yourself.'
The warlock smoothly rose from his seat, grabbed his bottle of beer, and swung it hard, smashing the paladin full in the face. The paladin collapsed on the floor amidst a shower of beer, blood, shards of glass, and shattered pride, groaning in pain. The warlock tossed the broken neck of the bottle on the floor, and smoothed his robes.
'Oh I'm sorry,' he said with a smile. 'I thought you could tank.'
Just before Wrath of the Lich King was released, God made a decision that he would gather up all the underpowered and useless classes and sort them out once and for all. So he invites Protection Warriors, Enhancement Shamans and Retribution Paladins to come and see him in Heaven.
Firstly God turns to the Protection Warrior and asks: "So, what would you like?"
The Warrior replies: "I'd like more utility and PvP, and a better means of generating threat and damage so I can compete with Paladin tanks."
God nods wisely and says: "So be it," and makes it so.
Next God turns to the Enhancement Shaman and asks again: "So, what would you like?"
The shaman replies: "I'd like some crowd control, and a way to make totems more effective, more pets wouldn't hurt either."
God nods wisely and says: "So be it," and makes it so.
Finally God turns to the Retribution Paladin and says: "So, what would you like?"
The Paladin looks at God and says: "I'd like you to get up please, because you're in my seat."
A human paladin, a night elf druid and an orc warrior die and go to the Spirit Healer. She tells them that, in order to resurrect them, they must tell why they deserve to resurrect, and if they lie she will blast them into oblivion.
The human says: "I think I should resurrect because I will spread the Light´s word and help everyone in need." Thus, the Spirt Healer resurrects him.
The night elf says: "I think I should resurrect because I will defend nature and try to restore balance to the world." Thus, the Spirit Healer resurrects him.
The orc says: "I think..." *ZAP!*
You know you play too much warcraft when the drop-rate of your girl friends pants is low.
If you refer to the british coins as gold, silver and copper you need help.
You know you play too much warcraft when you get hit in a fight outside the pub and blame it on lag.
What do Paladins and Chickens have in common?
They both go BoK BoK BoK!
How many Gnomes does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call 20 Gnomes at the bottom of Loch Modan?
A good start.
What do you call 20 Paladins in Loch Modan?
A Bubble Bath.
There is an army of humans at the bottom of a hill and an orc taunting them from above.
The human Grand Marhsal says : "An orc is worth 10 soldiers. You take 9 others and go take care of him"
The 10 soldiers chase the orc and disappear behind the hill. Some fighting is heard and again the orc is taunting the army.
The human Grand Marshal says : "An orc is worth 100 soldiers. Knight-Captain take your men and get rid of this eyesore"
The battalion rushes after the orc and disappears behind the hill. There is quite a fight behind the hill but once more the orc is taunting.
Out of rage the Grand Marshal shouts : " An orc is worth 1000 soldiers. Commander you and your regiment better trash this orc or there's is no need for you to come back."
As the masse of humans disappears behind the hill a huge and frantic battle can be heard. As it calms down a lone soldier comes back wounded and announces : "It was an ambush. They were.... two."
Q: What does Rogues and n00bs have in common?
A: They both pick locks
What do you call a moonwell full of restoration druids?
A HoTtub
How to Pull a Date
1) Position: Make sure she isn't too far away, or too close.
2) Is she hostile or neutral. Will she aggro you before you're ready to pull? If she may aggro, prepare accordingly at range or she may use Demoralizing Shout and oneshot you.
3) If safe to proceed, check for potential adds, female friends, and especially BFs have a massive add range.
4) NEVER LoS pull, disappearing into the toilets after aggro will cause her to likely despawn.
5) Don't used ranged to pull, it will cause her to despawn. Use proximity aggro if it is a safe and add-free pull.
6) If you have a rogue friend experienced in these matters get him to give you his Tricks of The Trade before going in.
7) Have a hunter friend misdirect any late adds, especially ugly female friends, away from your pull.
If all goes will, remember to ask your friendly Paladin for a Hand of Protection. If none are available, alchemists can make Elixir of Protection, but it's only 97.5% effective. What do Palladins and dogs have in common?
You have to teach them how to heal when you take them out.
What do you call a troll walking around confused?
- Normal
What do you call a bunch of trolls walking around confused?
- A Patrol
Two orcs go for a job. First Orc goes in. Interviewer holds out his hand.
'Which hand is this, left or right?'
'Left' the orc replies
'OK You'll do. You've got the job'
Orc goes out and tells his buddy the question.
Second orc goes in and the interviewer is rubbing his hands together cos its cold.
'Hey that's not fair' says the Orc, 'You're shuffling them!'
Do you know why leveling a mage is more like being an Irish?
Because you will always be drinking and fighting then drinking and fighting!
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat down in Tanaris, she created Un-goro crater.
I'm a paladin short and stout
here's my hammer here's my mount
When in trouble I scream and shout
get my bubble and hearthstone out.
Your momma is so fat it makes Patchwreck look anorexic.
How do you know you play WoW too much?
When you run over a cat, and stop to check it for loot.
